By Nessa
written September 2004/Posted October 26, 2004
bardicway@comcast.net
Caitlin stood at the window facing the meadow. The day was warm making any breeze welcome. She
watched Killian and her sister, Morgan walking toward the tree line. She thought they must be getting to
know each other and telling otherwise untold secrets only sisters could share. The tea cup she held was
empty but Caitlin didn’t feel a need for more. She thought that while Killy was gone she might lay down for a
little nap. The bed felt great as she stretched out on it. She didn’t even remember closing her eyes. She
must have gone to that vulnerable place where she would have no defense against psychic intruders. Living
within Morgan’s Tribe increased her sense of safety, even in the psychic realm. Caitlin was drifting now.
Suddenly she got a picture of Killian standing with Morgan. She was saying something. Caitlin strained to
hear.
“Something is wrong with Nessa. Go to her please, Caitlin. She suffers, be soft with her.”
The tall trader sat up. Caitlin remembered the battle in that Persian compound and how this red haired
warrior wielded a sword and an ax with acumen and power that only a seasoned warrior could manage. At first
she was glad to have such a warrior there to help free her from the Persian dogs that drugged and enslaved
her to do their bidding in the fighting pits. But then, when they got to the ship, the stories told by the other
rescuers and the looks she got from the Celt brought up a rage in her that no other truth could match...
Nessa was in love with Killian. Caitlin stood in silence while the attention went to Killian. She felt little hairs
rise on the back of her neck. She sensed someone or something. It was as if a hurricane touched her, full of
noise and random force. She turned her head and cast her eyes up to the helm where they met and locked
onto Nessa the Celt.
Killian was so beautiful, so changed and so the same all at once. For three long years, whenever Caitlin had a
clear thought, it was always of Killian. The way she turned her head and looked up into her lover’s eyes, the
way she giggled under her breath whenever her warrior tried to show off and botched it, the way she moved
her strong and supple body for their lovemaking… Caitlin’s center tightened.
Still, there was a kinship between Killian and Nessa that was just a little beyond friendship. Caitlin was
never entirely comfortable with it even after the Druid saved her life more than once. The first time was when
Caitlin wanted to clear the air between them and saw the warrior leave in a wagon and went after her on
Kiera. She allowed her mind to roll back on that event.
Caitlin hit the mountain trail at a trot and had to keep it at that pace. It was long and winding. The village
below served several mountain communities and they all had smaller trails that merged onto one wide road.
Caitlin reached it at last. She tracked the wagon more easily on the smaller trail since it was the only one.
Now several wheel tracks ran over each other.
It wasn’t urgent but Caitlin felt that she had to settle the tension between them one way or another. She
did not want Nessa as an enemy, yet being friends was hard to ask of either of them. Each was too honest to
simply act as if none of it mattered.
Ahead, Caitlin spotted the wagon obviously pulled off the road. As she got closer, she could see there was
no driver. The horse was unhitched and nowhere in sight.
The trader was an expert tracker. She dismounted and found the signs of the direction in which the horse
and rider went. The ground was so fresh with signs; Caitlin thought it must have only been minutes since the
Celt mounted and rode up the slope.
Caitlin might have thought it odd for Nessa to start on one task and veer off to another if she hadn’t been
told of how the Celt often went to the woods for solitude. But Caitlin was not going to give solitude to
one who had been silent far too long. It was time to talk. If there was to be tension, it would be tension with
understanding and boundaries. No more strategies of avoidance.
The trail led the tall trader into trees now. It got thick with Birch and Cedar. Progress was slow but
suddenly Caitlin saw the dapple gray mare standing, silently watching her approach. Caitlin dismounted.
She looked all around but saw no Celt. It seemed like the forest went silent and the only movement was the
breeze. Caitlin held still.
The sword came from above, plunging into the earth at her feet, burying at least a foot of the blade, leaving
the hilt to wobble. The voice came with a thick brogue, “My sword, Kat-leen.” Hearing her name
pronounced in Gaelic nearly brought a smile to Caitlin’s mouth. Then Nessa was in front of her, jumping
down from a Cedar branch above, and bowing low in allegiance.
The two women stood glaring at one another for only a moment, each sizing the other up. Nessa could see a
hardy spirit and able body before her. Caitlin was damn beautiful and the Celt knew first hand what she was
capable of as a fighter. There was softness about those piercing blue eyes though. She could see how
Killian could love this woman.
Caitlin thought Nessa’s eyes were such a pale blue that they appeared gray. The warrior braids were all
that kept the thick mass of red hair at all managed. Nessa was not as tall as Caitlin but there was an ancient
kind of ferocity about her that made her seem taller. She had the broad shoulders of a warrior who practiced
the art of fighting yet had an aversion to it.
It was not that Nessa could read minds, but she knew how she appeared to others. She spoke. “I am a Druid
as well as a warrior, Kat-leen. And you too are a lover of Mother Earth and the life she bares. Why did ye
follow me?”
Caitlin leaned down and lifted Nessa’s sword out of the earth and held the hilt out toward the warrior. “Not
for your sword, Nessa” she answered.
Nessa
Part two
Caitlin stood straight, still holding Nessa’s sword out to her. She said,
“Killian wants your friendship and I want your pledge of honor. She is mine, has always been mine and always
will be mine. I would never begrudge the friendship but… I don’t know how to trust you. The way you love her
shines in your eyes when you look at her.”
Nessa took back her sword and sheathed it. She lowered her eyes, folded her arms and leaned back on the
tall Cedar. “So then, ye want a promise from me that I will not try to take your woman. I give ye that promise
on my honor right now.” Nessa watched surprised relief come over Caitlin. Then she said, “But in exchange
for that promise, I want you to hear my words now and take them to your heart.”
Caitlin knitted her brow in suspicion at first but then assented, “That’s fair. I’ll hear you out.”
The Celt invited Caitlin to sit right there on the forest floor with her. Once both women were sitting,
Nessa began. “Ye say ye don’t know how to trust me but, Kat-leen, it is not me ye should be trusting… ‘tis
Killian herself. Ye were gone for a long time. Ye were stolen away from a child and brought back to a woman.
Friendship is all she wants from me. You are the love of her life. If she wanted me, I would have her. She has
made it clear where her heart is and I am not strong enough, brilliant enough, deep enough, rich enough or
stupid enough to try to change that. I would prefer a lonely friendship than nothing at all with one so fine as
she. She is a psychic of monumental proportions… gifted beyond explanation. That is how you were found.
Yes, I love her but I never did win her, Kat-leen. That is all” Nessa concluded.
Caitlin listened in silence. She never wanted to think that she was wrong about something and yet, she heard
the words of the Druid and felt teachable. She drew in a breath to speak when a rumbling came up from the
earth and the ground rocked beneath them.
Trees were falling around them and still the earth shook. They could hear the whinnies of the horses.
Suddenly the ground split open between them and Caitlin was thrown down grasping for a hold on
anything. She managed to wrap her hands around a root of a fallen tree that hung half way over the new
chasm. It was barely holding, slipping. Caitlin searched for something else to hold to. Then she heard
Nessa’s voice from the other side of the crevice. “Hold on, Kat-leen!”
A large Cedar branch crashed down on Nessa. She knew her arm was broken and maybe a clavicle. Her
strong legs were still working. She saw what happened to Caitlin and ran for the horses. Caitlin’s mare,
Keara made it through the quake without harm but the dapple gray had a broken neck from a fall when she
attempted to run on the rocking ground. Keara was skittish but calmed when Nessa talked to her. The Celt
was highly pleased to see a crossbow fitted in a saddle bag. She had to work fast, Caitlin was slipping.
Nessa’s whole upper right side was not only full of pain but it was useless. Still, she managed to fasten an
end of a braided rope to the end of a bolt. Fitting the bolt into the crossbow was nearly as difficult… and
how well could she aim? There was really no time to wonder. She stood at the edge of the crevice and
spotted a tree stump just beyond Caitlin’s reach. It looked like it was rooted solidly.
Caitlin held to the unstable root, trying not to move. She saw what Nessa was doing and was glad to see
Keara on that side of the split earth. The Celt had something wrong. She couldn’t seem to hold the
crossbow to aim it. Damn! It looked like her arm was broken! She had to risk yelling. “Nessa, lay on your
stomach and brace the bow on the ground!” The root slipped just a little more. But she watched Nessa drop
to the ground and stabilize the crossbow. She waited only a second before the bolt shot passed her and hit
something solid beyond her sight.
Nessa jumped up as fast as she could and wrapped the other end of the rope to Keara‘s saddle horn. She
pulled herself up on the back of the mare and urged her forward to tighten the rope. She turned in the saddle
and yelled for Caitlin to grab the rope but Caitlin was already grasping for it. She got it firmly and swung
out just as the root of the tree gave way and tumbled down into the deep chasm.
The Celt held Keara in position while Caitlin moved closer hand over hand until she reached the solid earth
on the other side. She scrambled up and ran to Keara’s side just as Nessa slumped forward and passed out.
Caitlin tossed herself up behind Nessa and headed for the wagon.
The roadway was havoc. It was strewn with large rocks, ruts and tree limbs. Caitlin hitched Keara to the
wagon and then helped Nessa to the wagon bed. The two women realized that the quake had no doubt
affected the entire mountain. They looked into each other’s eyes and said simultaneously, “Killian!”
Nessa
___***___
Part three
Caitlin led the way back up the mountain but the going was slow. She had to keep stopping to remove fallen
limbs and large rocks. Ruts in the road were most often huge and she had to maneuver the wagon around
them. Nessa was in and out of consciousness in the back of the wagon. Caitlin used the saddle blanket she
had on Keara to cover the shivering Celt. It occurred to her more than once that Nessa could have let her
fall to her death… but herself injured chose to save her.
The Druid’s words kept coming into her head, “Ye say ye don’t know how to trust me but, Kat-leen, it is not
me ye should be trusting… ‘tis Killian herself.” Caitlin began to see. Of course a warrior like this one would
love Killian, not for a minute or when times were good… but for always. She smiled to herself in pride that
Killian had such a friend. But the friend was in danger of going into shock. Caitlin decided to unhitch Keara
and rode the mare bareback and at a high gallop to the Lodge. She left Nessa in the wagon, covered and
under the shelter of an Oak.
All heads turned when Caitlin burst into the mountain inn where they were all staying. The look of relief on
Killian’s face could have been read by a blind man. Then she looked beyond but there was no Nessa.
Caitlin ran to her. “Nessa is hurt, you have to come now!” Killian grabbed her herb bag and ran for the
stables. No sooner was Caitlin back up on Keara when she saw Killian speeding from the stables on the
back of the black Friesian. They galloped down the mountainside at breakneck speed.
The riders reached the wagon and the injured Celt before dusk. Killian dismounted Flame while the mare still
moved. She jumped into the wagon. She lifted Nessa’s eyelids, felt a pulse and saw the obviously broken
arm. She shot a look at Caitlin. “Make a fire” she ordered. “Then get down to the stream and fill up your
water-skin.” Caitlin moved to do it.
Killian held Nessa’s big hand and closed her eyes. She felt herself wandering through the psychic space
between them. She heard a question without a voice but would have sounded like, “What would ye have me
do lass?” Killian answered in kind. “Remember how you left your body to go with me to see Mother Oak? I
want you to do that again so that I can set your broken bones. The pain would otherwise be unbearable.”
Killian felt a wisp of air and the Celt’s body went lax.
The fire was built and the water was brought. Caitlin gathered some strong sticks as straight as she could
find, heated some water as instructed and then watched in fascination while Killian set the broken arm and
clavicle of the perfectly silent Nessa. Then Killian closed her eyes again and after a moment Nessa became
conscious. Killian had the pain herb ready and brewing in the cup of hot water.
“Well now lass, I see you have learned even more,” quipped the Celt.
“Be still and drink this so we can get you back to the Lodge in some kind of comfort,” Killian countered.
Nessa was in too much pain to argue and before the brew was fully finished, the pain was already gone. She
went to sleep. Between the two of them, Caitlin and Killian got Nessa back up to the Lodge to rest
comfortably on a cot in the dining room.
The tense silence between Caitlin and Killian was broken by the taller woman. “She saved my life Killian”
“Of course she did.”
“But she didn’t have to.”
Killian shook her head. “Yes, she had to, Caitlin. She would never have wanted to see me that miserable.”
Nessa
Part 4
Caitlin pulled on her boots, recalling the cliffs of Denmark when she and Nessa were pursuing Killian who
bore the weight if the Fear-weight Tide. Caitlin was never really clear on what it meant exactly. But she did
know it drove her lover to heights of madness. It also gave her strength of purpose to kill Dalton the insane
Dane who stole off with Killian’s best friend. This is what brought them there to the cliffs of Denmark. The
taking on of another’s fear had a weight that only one with Killian’s psychic abilities could carry. But still, it
made the Amazon psychic move beyond reason. She left in the night while Nessa and Caitlin slept.
Caitlin’s memory continued. They were half-way up the steep cliff-side when they came upon a ledge to
perhaps rest for a while. They found a dead pirate there on that ledge, no doubt searching for the same
treasure as Dalton and who no doubt met with certain death at Dalton’s hand. Together, Caitlin and
Nessa tossed the stiff body to the chasm below. Nessa pulled wood chips and other kindling from her pack.
She started another fire. They needed rest. They would carry on at first light. Both of them prayed that
Killian found a place to rest in safety.
“How far ahead would you say Killian is?” Nessa ventured.
“Not far” Caitlin answered as she looked upward at the steep slope before them. “She may be a good
climber and determined but not even a force such as a fearweight tide can keep her going without rest. I think
we will gain on her before she reaches Dalton” she said hopefully.
“You know, Caitlin, there will be more bandits and treasure hunters looking for what Dalton seeks,” Nessa
said flatly. “Killian is in more danger than she is bargaining for and so are we.”
“I have been thinking about that. My hope is that she IS bargaining for that danger, especially now that she
has seen that poor creature we tossed over the edge.”
“You aren’t thinking she will come to her senses and turn back?” Nessa squinted through the cold and said,
“Because it won’t make a difference to her at all. She has been taken, my friend. The fearweight tide has
taken control.” Nessa struck flint against flint and watched the spark light the small pile of kindling.
They sat in silence, hovering closely to the small fire. They ate dried venison and biscuits, exchanging very
little in the way of words or eye contact. Nessa offered first watch and stirred the coals while Caitlin
hunkered her tall frame into the down and doe skin bedroll.
The Celt watched and listened but it was her own visions and her own thoughts that held her attention up on
that rocky ledge on the Northern cliffs of Denmark. The wind was calming down and the chill seemed to
lessen. In the silence of the night her inner thoughts rolled out like a scroll. Nessa’s heart throbbed with the
old and the new aches of her life. Watching Caitlin breathe, she envisioned how Killian must look waking up
beside the beautiful trader. That same longing for the Amazon lass visited her now. Never, since Morgan,
was there one such as Killian to fill the emptiness inside her.
Nessa was remembering the entire event at the same time Killian purged to the Goddess less than fifty feet
above them. But her eyes never left the only living human who made the difference between the Celt and
happiness with Killian. Tears ran hot down Nessa’s face. What stopped her from drawing her dagger and
removing Caitlin in one swift toss to the brain? She wondered this as she sat in the shadow of the ledge.
One toss and she could blame it on pirates. She allowed her head to drop forward. Slowly, Nessa the
Celtic warrior drew her dagger from it’s sheath and slowly she lifted it high for the toss. Then, in one
lightning flash if a moment, she tossed hard and sure.
The dagger penetrated and splintered bone, causing the surprised pirate to fall across Caitlin’s prone
body. Caitlin was up and out of the bedroll in seconds. She saw the gruesome corpse, eyes wide with shock,
and the hilt of Nessa’s dagger protruding from his forehead. She drew her own sword from the sheath where
it lay.
Together, the two warriors chopped at fingers and hands from the few pirates still trying to get up onto the
ledge. Cries of terror ripped through the cold silent night as the pirates fell to the craggy rocks below.
Part 5
Caitlin leaned against the wall of the ledge she shared with Nessa. The
precarious space afforded little room between them. One thoughtless step would
send either of them to the doom of the pirates. But then as Caitlin kneeled down
and pulled the dagger from the scull of the pirate who nearly killed her, she
thought Nessa was never one to be thoughtless in her actions. She used the shirt
of the dead man to wipe the blood from the blade. “Again I am in your debt,
Nessa” she said as she handed the dagger over hilt first.
“It was only circumstance” Nessa replied. “You’d have done the same for me.”
“I see. It is just that we are on the same team, right? We have the same cause.
Otherwise it wouldn’t have mattered?”
“Yes, we are on the same team, but it is not the same cause!”
“What can that possibly mean, Nessa?”
Nessa’s voice got softer. “It means that you are worried and that makes you
angry and anger makes you want to punish the lass.” The Celt sheathed her sword
and wrapped her fur cape close. “I just want to keep her from harm.”
Caitlin was astonished. “You surprise me, Nessa. I would have thought you would
know that Killian would not love one as shallow as that.” Caitlin spoke as she
coiled rope for the climb. “I am worried and I am angry. But my motive is deeper
than that. I don’t know much about this fearweight tide thing, but I know that
it is changing Killian. I know it is driving her. I want to stop her before she
does something her soul could never come back from.”
Nessa paused from the pack she was tying. “I am deeply sorry to have misjudged
you, Caitlin. It’s just that... I”
“Can’t stop loving her or wanting her.” Caitlin finished for the faltering Celt.
“How bloody blind do you think I am?” Caitlin heaved the hook at the end of the
coiled rope and felt it catch solidly above them. She pulled hardy to test it
then began the climb, leaving Nessa to do what she would do.
Caitlin stopped her mind from wasted thoughts. That time on the cliffs in Denmark was now gone. Yes,
Nessa loves Killian. Killian's request to find the Celtic, Druid, warrior and "be soft with her" may have been
enough just because Killian asked but the beautiful trader felt the debt weighing within her. She would find
Nessa and try to do what she could to help her. Closing the entrance drape to the hut she shared with
Killian, Caitlin strode across the compound toward Grandmother’s Hut to find word of Nessa.
The large village hut was a meeting place and a place to lounge with friends. Caitlin thought to herself, “The
damn warrior is probably in the wildest part of the woods where she could not be found for days anyway.”
When Caitlin entered, it felt like the whole room was filled with nervous talk and laughter. Grandmother’s
Hut was a bramble of tension so palpable she felt like she might have to hack away at it with her sword just to
get to the other side of the room. She simply stood for a few moments while her eyes adjusted to the natural
dimness inside at this time of day. Caitlin’s blue eyes grazed around the room until they landed on the source
of all the anxiety and the object of her search, Nessa.
Something was far too wrong with this picture. There on a bar stool sat Nessa, the fine Celtic warrior and
alcohol abstaining Druid with her face hovering over a pint of ale. Her sword was hanging loosely at her side
but her large hand was wrapped around the hilt of the same dagger Caitlin pulled from the skull of the pirate
that cold morning in Denmark. The inebriated Celt was jabbing it’s point into the bar in a half-hearted
attempt at carving some symbol into the wooden surface. Caitlin noticed the wide circle of space between
Nessa and any other tribal sister in the hut. It was time to bridge that space. Caitlin somehow, knew that it
was her task alone. There was no other in the hut who could approach Nessa or wanted to at that moment.
Nessa
Part 6
___***___
Nessa almost had the symbol complete. She just could not quite remember what it stood for but it was
magical, that she was sure of. “Tris!” she yelled. “I told ye ta keep me tankard full dammit lass!” The young
serving girl, Tris edged slowly to where Nessa sat swaying and filled the half full tankard in front of Nessa.
She knew well the consequences she could and did already suffer at the hands of the angry warrior. Tris
backed away quickly when a different hand than Nessa’s grabbed the full tankard and lifted it to her in
salute`.
Nessa turned, bleary eyed and stunned to watch Caitlin pull a huge draft from Nessa’s own tankard. “Wha’
the Hades da ye tink yer doin wi me tankard o ale, Kat-leen?” she slurred.
“Ahh” said the trader. “That should be enough to quench anyone’s thirst.” She gave Tris a re-assuring
smile and deliberately handed the tankard back to the astonished girl.
“So it’s a fight yer looking fer is it?” Nessa slid down from the stool to her unsteady feet. “It’s about time I
kicked yer bloody ass, Kat-leen.” She growled. Dropping the dagger to the bar top the drunken warrior
took a swing that might hurt if Nessa could be quicker and had a truer aim. As it was, she was surprised that
the force of her own swing was propelling her forward and straight to the floor face first. Caitlin simply
stepped aside and watched Nessa’s comical dive to the floor. She turned to Tris and said “Coffee, lass.
Get coffee.”
Tris couldn’t seem to move fast enough to comply with the trader’s wishes. She knew of a few other herbs
that had some pick up to them as well. She would blend them with the coffee. By the time she returned with
the steaming hot brew and cups, Caitlin managed to avoid more punches from Nessa who was now falling into
the furniture and toppling whole chairs over. Tris loved Nessa and hated to see her like this but could hardly
suppress a smile when she heard Caitlin say, “She better stop kicking my bloody ass or she’ll wreck the
place.”
Caitlin asked Tris to take the coffee outside under the Maple tree and place it on the table out there.
Before Tris got back, she watched something she thought she might never see. Her beautiful wild, leather
belted, phallus wearing, red haired warrior, slung helplessly over one of Caitlin’s muscled shoulders.
Caitlin put Nessa onto the bench. The warrior was hardy. Caitlin would say that for her. There was no
telling how much ale she had in her. Caitlin looked at the face while it rolled from side to side. Then, Nessa
was still. Caitlin poured Tris’ brew and helped the Celt sit up. The trader held the cup to Nessa’s lips and
insisted that Nessa drink it until three full cups were inside her.
“Wha’d I do Kat-leen?” Nessa asked as she glared at her right hand. It was swollen and bruised at the
knuckles.
Caitlin looked down at the injured hand and said. “I think that was when you thought the door jam was my
face.”
Nessa was beginning to sober now. She read the humor in Caitlin’s voice. By the throbbing ache in her
head and the heaviness of Caitlin’s hand on her shoulder she surmised that whatever it was, it must have been
very awful. Nessa tried to stand. All she wanted now was to go to her own hut and hide out for a few days.
The Celt even entertained thoughts if leaving this tribe, but Caitlin held her down at the shoulders.
“I always hate trying to talk to a drunk person,” Caitlin said as she rolled her eyes. “They are so damned
unreasonable.”
“Unreasonable!” cried Nessa. “You call me unreasonable? That sounds pretty screwy coming from the
queen of unreason.”
Caitlin lifted an eyebrow at the absurd statement but decided against an argument which would be futile
anyway. She decided instead to cut to the chase. “There is much bitterness and pain in you. It lives in your
heart. I have been sensing it since Morgan came to us in the Circle of the Oaks. You have struggled much by
Killian’s love for me and not you. But I thought that was well on it’s way to healing. We left the land of the
Faery and came here to settle with the Fianna and you have not been part of one ceremony, Nessa. You are
her Druid. What can you be thinking? Are you jealous now too that Killian has found her sister? She said
with a clear and strong voice.
Nessa needed so much to talk to someone. She would not have picked Caitlin but there it was.
Opportunity in the one person she could never confide in before. The Druid cast an inward glance at the
higher Being within and felt the true message. She would tell Caitlin all.
Nessa
Part 7
After a fourth cup of the sobering brew concocted by Tris and after a staggering trip to the outhouse,
Nessa’s head was clear enough to focus on the task ahead. Caitlin sat at the bench under the oak in the
garden waiting for whatever it was she waited for. She wasn’t really sure. She knew only that Killian came to
her through the realms and asked that she go to Nessa to help her “gently.” Caitlin did want answers
concerning Nessa’s behaviors. Maybe she would get them now.
Nessa approached appearing a bit less uncomfortable and a lot more sober than before she drank the
coffee and herb brew. Caitlin was confident that relieving her bladder must have been quite helpful to Nessa
as well.
The warrior sat down beside Caitlin. She was silent for only a moment before beginning the story of why
she was so sullen since they all emerged from the realm of the Faery. “Morgan the Fianna is not new to me,
Caitlin. I was twenty or so Winters into this life when I first saw her in the tent of Queen Cartimandua in
Brigantes. Morgan was serving the Queen. I was chosen to uh… service the Queen.” Caitlin appeared
mildly surprised but that was because she felt the need to hide the near shock of Nessa’s statement. Nessa
continued her tale of service to Cartimandua, her enlightenment of the Queen’s betrayal of her own people
and how she and Morgan ran for their lives to the land of the Iceni and onto the safety of Queen Boudicca
and her people.
“There was so much fighting. The Romans were too self assured and died easily. I fought at Morgan’s side.
I saw her as a loyal Celtic Princess whose entire tribe, her brother included, was wiped out at the hands of the
Romans because Cartimandua would not defend her people. It was Morgan who advised Boudicca to bring
the Celts of Brigantes to the lands of the Iceni to fight with her. I never wanted to know how I loved her…
never wanted to face my feelings for her. She offered herself to me and I took her. She knew how I loved
her. Then the day came when she no longer stood in my sight after a bloody battle. I was frantic, Caitlin. I
dove into piles of severed arms and legs to find her. Day after day, battle after battle we fought and won
victory over the Romans and still I never found her.” Tears streamed from Nessa’s face now. She dropped
her head into her hands and cried like a grieving child.
Caitlin reached her long fingers into Nessa’s wild red hair and caressed the bent over and aching head of the
heart-sick warrior. “It must have been a shock to see her appear in the land of the Faery after some fifteen
winters” Caitlin offered. “And even more of a shock to find that she is Killian’s blood sister.” Suddenly the
impact of what this meant nearly shook Caitlin to her knees. She realized in one instant that much of what
Nessa was seeing and loving in Killian was the familiarity she saw and felt for love of Morgan. Morgan
looked like Killian. Their voices were even much the same. They walked with a familial gate. Then the
questions came to Caitlin. Why did Morgan disappear without a word to Nessa? Why did Nessa avoid the
Fianna now? More than anything the tall, beautiful trader wondered why Morgan continued to ignore her
once lover, battle-mate and Druid. Caitlin was determined to ask with or without propriety.
“Come on, caraid (‘friend’ in Gaelic) I’ll get you to your hut” Caitlin said, wrapping a strong arm around the
still unsteady warrior helping them both stand together. The heart of Caitlin pounded a message to her
brain that she would always stand together with Nessa. Even the slight distain and jealousy she felt not one
hour ago was gone. For now she knew some of what was true about Nessa the warrior and it was enough to
birth a respect for the Irish Celt. She owed her life to Nessa from the beginning when she fought the
Persians to free her, then the earth quake, then the pirate on the Denmark cliffs. Tears filled her eyes as she
held Nessa around the waist while they made their way to Nessa’s hut.
Caitlin never stepped foot inside Nessa’s dwelling before. She was surprised by the incredible neatness of
everything. The sleeping mat of moss and furs was tucked tightly underneath. The simple table and chairs
were positioned strategically close to the cooking fire. Nothing was out of place. Caitlin helped Nessa
remove her weapons and once the warrior was down on the sleeping mat, the leather boots were easy enough
to remove. She hung the sword at the wall where it could be easily reached and lay the dagger beside the
feather pillow where Nessa’s poor aching head rested. Nessa fell asleep immediately.
Caitlin stood gazing down at the sleeping woman, seeing the vulnerability and softness hidden so well while
conscious. She was thinking that it was not a wonder that Killian was not willing to let go of this woman who
fought so hard and loved so deeply. Just then, light brightened the room. Caitlin turned to see Killian
holding up the entrance drape gazing with love at them both. Killian could feel the stirring of love for Nessa
in Caitlin’s heart. She knew why this was so after her talk with her sister today.
“We have to find a way to help them, Caitlin” Killian whispered. She was met with an out-stretched hand and
a nod of assent from her lover. At long last, it was clear that these two could be true friends. She ran to
Caitlin’s strong arms and stood in the trader’s embrace while they both looked down on the sleeping woman.
“We will find a way, my love” Caitlin said softly. “Some things are just meant to be.”
End
Nessa
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